October 19, 2010

How To Pronounce a Word & Have It Increase Your Vocabulary by a Fewness

      Mr. James Fuchs, aka "The Magnificent Wreck" (because of putting shot, or shot putting, even when injured), died this month. The obituary writer for the NY Times wrote that "Mr. Fuchs (pronounced Fewsh) [was] the No. 1 shot-putter in the world in both the 1949 and 1950 seasons, during which he set four world records for the standard 16-pound shot, the last of which was 58 feet 10-3/4 inches.
      "Pronounced Fewsh" -- like foosh? like the first syllable of fuchsia? And how many words are there that begin with few? Eight if you count various forms of the same word, but I won't.
  FEWMETS - the feces of a hunted animal, by which the hunter identifies it. "I been lookin' fer my durn cat ever'whar, chasin' it from fewmet to fewmet, from hairball to hairball; cain't find it nowhar." (NOTE: a fewmet is like a scat, but you have to wonder why you would yell "Scat!" at a cat unless you wanted more fewmets.
  FEWNESS - the quality of being small in number. Pl. fewnesses. "My feet are not fewnesses, nor are my thighs; my lashes are fewnesses, but not my big eyes."
  FEWTER - (n) a support or holder for a spear, attached to a saddle or breastplate; (v) to set your spear into the fewter (see Fewtered, Fewtering). "Yerp, Sire*, I was riding along topspeed trying to fewter my spear in my fewter. Damnest thing it just fell off, and I been lookin' fer that durn fewter ever'whar but I cain't find it nowhar'. Sorry, Sire." (NOTE: * this is the origin of "yessiree, Bob" if yer Sire was named Bob. Sometimes it was "Yessiree, Nigel," or "Yessiree, Cholmondeley" (pronounced Chumley.) For my next lesson, I will investigate words that begin with Chol.
  FEWTRILS -- trifles, things of little value, "There might be a fewtril or two in my handkerchief drawer."

I would like to suggest a fu (pronounced few) more words :
    FEWmament (a small firmament),
    FEWsomely (used with small praise),
    FEWment (payment in pennies and nickels),
    fulFEWment (an unsatisfactory return on investment),
    FEWneral (an interment with hardly any mourners.

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